I believe that the concept of Twin Flames and Soul Mates is vastly misunderstood. It is also dangerous, if we approach it from the space of feeling that we are not complete without that other person.
On the 6th of October, here in the UK, Netflix released a documentary on an organisation that says that they connect you to your twin flame. I encourage you to go back to my episode on how to cult proof your spiritual journey (episode 2) in order to make sure that you don’t fall into the trap of similar kinds of organisations who pray on people’s desire to feel complete and their naivety around how to go about it.
Before we dive deeper into the topic of Twin Flames and Soul Mates, I want to debunk three myths around Twin Flames:
- The myth that you are not complete until you are in a romantic relationship with your Twin Flame
- The myth that when you find your Twin Flame/Soul Mate, it will be this ideal relationship that fairy tales tell us about
- The myth that your Twin Flame is your only true love
This is magical thinking at best and dysfunctional at worse and it can lead you to putting yourself at danger of being exploited by a narcissist or a cult. And if you have listened to episode 2, you know that there are a lot of parallels between the behaviours of these two groups. I am passionate about keeping you safe on your spiritual journey, so take care.
When I researched where the concept of Twin Flames originated, I found out that it came from Plato and Greek Mythology. The idea is that Zeus split an androgynous human being into male and female. The reason he did this was because he was scared of the power of androgynous human beings and wanted to weaken them, by dividing their strength and making them pine for each other, thus distracting them from the important things they would have otherwise done, which Zeus felt threatened by. If there is a cautionary tale about our politicians and the people who rule the world, I can’t see a better one, but I am not here to talk about conspiracy theories.
As you can see, this story is only slightly better than the Adam and Eve story from the Bible. At least, in that version, men and women are created equal, but the motive for creating Twin Flames is really flaky. I think the myth comes with its own warning: don’t let the pursuit of your Twin Flame distract you from more important things, specifically owning your power and realising that you are whole.
I would like at this point to talk about a definition of Twin Flames: two souls who were once one and have the same energy consciousness. If we retain this definition, we have to wonder why these Twin Flames would need to reattach themselves at the hip in a close romantic relationship. They are whole. They have the same energy consciousness. They don’t need each other. They have different soul paths and akashic records at that point. I want to posit the theory that they might not want to spend earth lives together. But they might choose to anyway. If they do, it’s because they have a soul contract together, which then makes them soul mates.
Before I go any further, I want to say that every single person on this earth is whole without the need of someone else to complete them. It’s important to say it because the music industry, the entertainment industry and the dating industry, who each represent billions of revenues, want us to think otherwise. And we push that myth that we need someone else to complete us onto our kids from a very young age. There is a really toxic narrative in western culture that actually grooms us for narcissistic abuse. If we don’t feel complete, we leave ourselves vulnerable to love bombing, but also to us obsessing about our object of desire.
So what is the different between Twin Flames and Soul Mates? With soul mates, what links them is not the same soul essence or the fact they might have been one soul at one point, what links them is a soul contract. A soul contract is an agreement that souls enter before they incarnate. And that agreement describes the kind of relationship they will have on earth and what they will “do” for each other. Think of the earth as a giant stage and you being two actors in a play.
Soul mates are not necessarily romantic partners. They can be siblings, parents, friends, colleagues and even our own businesses. Yes, businesses. Businesses have souls. You can check my podcast episode about this by clicking on this link and scrolling down to episode dated 14th June 2021 “What if businesses had souls?” Also, sometimes soul mates feel like enemies. They make our lives difficult and can even be our “petty tyrants” to use an expression used by Carlos Castaneda. And the reason is that, sadly, at this point of our evolution, we learn much more from conflict and pain than we do from sunshine and rainbows. To understand better the concept of soul mates and soul plans, I invite you to read Michael Newton’s book called Journey of Souls.
In conclusion, yes I do believe in the idea of Twin Flames and Soul Mates but I urge you not to let the pursuit of that “true” love from distract you from how important your own life path and purpose is on this earth. If you would like to find out how to work with me and receive special offers and musings, why not sign up for my newsletter? I always offer a freebie for people who sign up and the freebie at the moment of release of this episode is a PDF that includes a process to help you start forgiving yourself and others.