Answering this question can be particularly offensive to people who have had abusive childhoods or have been abandoned by their parents. If the question offends you, then move on. Ignore this blog post and the associated podcast episode. I am not writing it to offend or hurt you. And I respect that you find it offensive.
The reason I am asking it, though, is because as a teenager, in the middle of a heated argument with my sister, instead of telling her how awful she was (and she was, but so was I), I said to her “We chose each other, so why don’t we try to get along.” At the time I did not know where this came from. Now I have an idea and we will be discussing this in next week’s episode.
If I chose my sister, then the next logical thing is that I chose my parents too. I do find it particularly interesting to try to suss out why we might have chosen them. And this episode is about this. Why would those of us who have had abusive childhood chosen our parents? Who in their right minds would choose abuse?
One of the explanations I have been shown is that there can be a difference between what our souls want and what we want after we incarnate. Our souls have access to the bigger picture and also, tend to be quite ambitious for us. Our souls want growth and resolution for us, so they sometimes plan ambitious blue prints for us, and abusive childhoods can be a stepping stone for greatness. Don’t think for a minute that I command abuse. I don’t. However, hardships and challenging life circumstances can, as long as we have the support of at least one caring adult, build our resilience.
This can also be the result of the soul thinking that the choices it is making for its next incarnation are a lot easier than they seem. In addition to this, souls have no ego, so they don’t care about comfort, fame, riches, reputation, success or money. They care more about experience and growth. And at this state of evolution of humanity, we learn a lot better from hardships than we learn from ease and fun. This could change, but we are not there yet.
Generally speaking, it is more advanced souls (and by that I only mean souls with more experience, not superior souls) that are likely to choose childhood abuse or hardship. These souls know they can do and they also know that they will embrace these challenges and turn them into opportunities to be better persons but also help humanity. I am not saying however, that advanced souls do not suffer. I think they do, but they are not victims. They do not need your pity.
But I also don’t want you to feel any pressure to be a hero if you have experienced childhood abuse. The priority should always be your own healing first. You don’t have to help others or turn your pain into gain. What is most important, though, it to let go of the shame. We all know that children and victims tend to take the shame of their abusers on and think that there is something wrong with them. Let go of that right away.
To listen to the episode, click here.
To book a discovery call with me, click here.